


In No World Can I Live Without You

by starstruckauthors



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Christmas, Christmas at the Burrow (Harry Potter), F/M, Fear, Fluff, Nightmares, PTSD, Tears, The Burrow (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27177136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstruckauthors/pseuds/starstruckauthors
Summary: Ron was never one to tell Hermione how he felt. Nor would he discuss how everything hurt him. But Hermione knew. She always knew.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	In No World Can I Live Without You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a shameless Romione shipper, and I needed to write this.
> 
> Heavy angst at the beginning, there will be comfort though.

Ron sat at the edge of their bed. He looked over his shoulder at Hermione who was sleeping peacefully, Crookshanks curled up next to her. He wiped away the tears on his cheek and reached around for his coat and slippers. He stood up carefully and slid his jacket on, then walked towards the bedroom door. He opened it and carefully closed it, then walked down the stairs of the Burrow. He was careful to avoid any of the louder stairs while he moved outside so that no one else woke up. 

He opened the door to the garden and sat down on the stairs. The moon shone brightly down on the lawn and the snow reflected the lights. The tears started to fall silently down his cheeks and into his hands. Ron couldn't stop them even if he wanted to, and he truly did. Growing up with so many siblings who acted tough, the exception being Percy and now George, he didn't really know how to cope with feelings like sadness. When he met Harry, he didn't put his feelings in high regard, focusing on protecting and making sure Harry felt loved and at home. 

But the war was over and the world was back to normal. And now his feelings were handed to him on a silver platter and he had no sense of how to deal with them. Fear, sadness, all these feelings hit him like a train. He felt like he was being Crucio-ed every single time they took over.

It got worse because he didn't ever want Hermione to find out. Hermione was everything to him, she kept him upright, she meant the world to him. He'd die for her anytime, anywhere. Ron loved her so much at times it hurt. But he was always scared that she wouldn't love him. He had done so much to hurt her, it confused him how she could bear to stay with him, let alone sleep together. He left her in the cold, he yelled at her, he let his own jealousy consume him and lashed out at her. He regretted every single time he made her shed a tear. 

In some sense, Ron thought his tears were poetic. His nightmares always consisted of Hermione leaving, leaving him as he had left her. But she wouldn't come back. She left forever and then everyone else left him. And then he was alone, his thoughts his only company. His thoughts tortured him in these nightmares, replaying Hermione's screams, Harry's dead body, Fred's dead body, Ginny crying, Molly and Arthur silently sobbing in each other's arms, everything that brought Ron to his knees. 

It made him ashamed of himself. He wasn't a hero, and he didn't know why the world recognized him as one. He was a coward who snuck into his own skin to hide from the dangers. He didn't deserve any of what he was given. He didn't deserve his loving, wonderful family. He didn't deserve Hermione. He didn't deserve the clothes on his back. He put his hands on his face and sobbed quietly into them. 

He could barely feel the sharp wind cut across his face while he cried. His stomach ached as he cried and the dark clouds started to let the snowfall. His red hair was decorated with snow, his shoulder shook and his knuckles were bright white. 

The door opened, but he hadn't heard anything until he heard a small voice say, "Ron?" 

It was from Hermione. Oh no, it was Hermione. He wiped away his tears and looked at the garden, away from her. 

"Ron, what're you doing out here? It so cold," Hermione said sleepily. He could feel her eyes on his head and his skin crawled. "Ron?" He heard her move towards him and saw her sit next to him. 

"Go inside, 'Mione," he grunted, hopeful that the tears hadn't made his voice sound any weaker. "I'll be up in a few minutes."

"Ronald. You left me in a cold bed. If you were okay, you would've told me." Damn, why did she have to be so perceptive all the time? He looked down at his slippers and saw her bend to look at him. "Ron, why are you outside. It's snowing and it's cold. Come back inside with me," she whispered, putting her hand on his arm. He flinched and looked away. She withdrew her hand and he knew his action hurt her, but he didn't want her to see him weak. 

"Ron...." 

"'Mione, please go inside. I don't want you getting sick," he said thickly. The tears were burning his eyes and threatened to fall. He couldn't be allowed to be weak near her. She needed him strong, that's what everyone needed from Ron. A strong, good, dependable friend. Not one who ran away. Not the old Ronald. 

"Something's wrong, and I'm not leaving until you tell me." She put her hand on his chin and made him look at her. 

_No. No why are you doing this to me, Hermione? Why?_ He looked at the ground so that she didn't have to see his red, puffy eyes. 

"Ron? Have you been crying?" she asked quietly. He could practically hear the laughter in her voice and felt threatened. He moved away from her and stood up, wrapping his arms around himself to keep him warm. 

"No." 

"I don't believe you, Ron," she said, standing up and walking up behind him. "What's going on?" she asked quietly. "Talk to me, Ron." He looked up at the moon and felt the tears spill from his eyes. 

"I-" That was all he managed to get out before he let out a strangled sob. His body was betraying his thoughts. Hermione could see him cry and that was the last thing he wanted. 

"Oh Ron," she whispered. She walked around and wrapped her arms around his waist. "It's okay, I'm right here." 

His body had gone into shock. She hadn't left him, she wasn't laughing, there wasn't anything she was doing to hurt him. She wasn't...Leaving. His knees gave out and he sank to the ground. She followed him and kissed his cheek, wrapping her arms around him tightly. 

"It's alright, Ron. It's okay," she mumbled into his hair. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head into her shoulder, sobbing into her nightgown. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." She pulled away and gently pulled his face up to look at her. He looked at her, eyes red and puffy, nose red and runny. She smiled softly at him and kissed his forehead. She wiped his tears away and took out a handkerchief to wipe his nose with.

"I-I don't deserve you, Hermione," he croaked, looking at her with glassy eyes. "I don't deserve you."

She looked at him, shocked and taken aback. She smiled softly and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Maybe so. But I don't mind so much," she said. 

"Wha?"

"That's not the point of our relationship, Ron. I love you, no matter how flawed you are. You don't get to judge if you deserve me or not. I do." She sat back on her heels and he finally took in her beauty. How she remained so pretty without trying, he would never understand. "And even if you don't, I chose you. I chose you to love. I chose to help you become better." 

"Hermione..." 

"And I don't care what you did. I don't care, Ronald. _I love you._ No one else. You are who I love. And I don't plan on choosing anyone else. You're mine," she whispered. He looked at her dumbstruck. 

"But...All I've ever done was hurt you. I don't understand why you want me, Hermione. You should be with someone who hasn't hurt you as...as much as I did."

"I don't want anyone else, Ronald. I will only have you. You're the only one I want," she said, jabbing her finger into his chest. "And I will have you." 

He looked at her for a few silent moments. His brain felt sluggish, it felt so slow while her words sank in. And then everything kicked into overdrive. He pulled her in by the waist and kissed her on the lips. She let out a squeak of surprise and he smiled to himself. She was the world, and his world wasn't leaving him anytime soon. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. They both lost balance somewhere along with the kiss and were sent toppling down to the snowy ground. They laughed against each other's lips and looked at each other for a few more minutes. 

"Come inside, Ron," she said with a smile. "Let's go to bed." He grinned and kissed her again. 

"Okay, 'Mione. Let's go." 


End file.
